She was their work horse. They didn’t want her out of the field, they wanted her to be a good cog and keep-a-workin.

She did so willingly because she loved the job and she was great at it.

The newest management was promoted from within and her toxic behavior was promoted along with her. They say that a bad hire strengthens the competition. Well, so does a bad promotion.

She became the type of manager who, after having a disagreement with an employee, would publicize her thoughts to colleagues and other subordinates behind the back of the one she had the disagreement with. Unfortunately, my friend saw some messages on a communal email account that the manager had sent around to those other colleagues and subordinates and the nature of the messages were both hurtful and untrue.

There’s an old saying of “Praise in public; critique in private.” So many managers seem to have this completely backwards. A manager’s job is to bring out the best in your employees so that they, in turn, will propel your company to great heights.

Let me repeat that since there are many who need to hear it again: A manager’s job is to bring out the best in your employees.

At the most basic level, if you do this, then you will have employees who respect you and want you to succeed as well. When you take their trust and throw it in the public stocks to be beaten and chastised, you become the enemy and every decision they make is tainted with that distrust.

Whether you are afraid that your employees will look better than you or that they will be promoted above you is irrelevant and ridiculous. Stop being a power-hungry micro-manager. Their success is your success and the sooner you can accept that, the easier your managerial career will be. You need to be seen as a cultivator of talent, not just a manager. Bring your employees out of their shells and they will respond in kind by increasing communication and trusting you to know how to do your job.

We, as cogs, live in fear of the yearly review. In today’s economy, we are often forced to accept less-than stellar reviews because companies are afraid of workers who appear to be doing too well. They might actually think they deserve *gasp* a raise. But think of all of the people out there who would gladly trade a raise for some respect and notoriety at work for a job well done. Be that person who acknowledges their contributions and they will see you as part of their team.

That is priceless in a world where corporate management sees us all as employee numbers instead of people.

The original:

You can find the words here.

The photographs below, by photographer Peter Menzel, depict “statistically average” families in different countries.  They pose with all of their belongings in front of their residence.  The photos are an amazing example of the global distribution of “goods” in our contemporary world.  I borrow them from the story on the project at NPR.

The Ukita family (Tokyo, Japan):

The Natomo family (Kouakourou, Mali; one husband, two wives, two households).  The Natomo’s are grain traders and own a mango orchard:

Nalim and Namgay, subsistence farmers (Shingkhey, Bhutan):

Click here to view more images of people’s belongings in various places around the world.

The first kick comes when you go to the car lot. You see your dream car, whatever it may be, and you realize you can’t afford it. So you settle for something practical: a Honda Civic or a Toyota Camry.

I, myself, drive a Subaru Impreza (for now) because it’s a quality auto and a frickin work horse.

Then you are invited into an office with one of the salespeople who was able to hook your nose with his/her fingers first. You are told that your credit isn’t fantastic and so the percentage for the loan is going to be 2 points higher than you anticipated.

“No biggie” you think as you sign your life away with taxes, tags, and fees galore. What you don’t realize is that 2 percentage points actually is a bit of a big deal and it can result in you paying hundreds or thousands of dollars more each year depending on the car you buy.

So now you’re the proud owner of an over-sized, over-priced, over-sold hunk of plastic and metal.

As soon as you drive it off the lot, it depreciates. Edmund’s True Cost To Own feature shows us that in my case, my Subaru depreciated approximately $4,000 when I drove it off the lot and took it home.

So now, not only are you over-paying, but you’re also losing a large chunk of value almost immediately.

Edmund’s goes on to show that with each passing year up to year 5 (aside from year 1 which was larger to include the initial depreciation), you are losing anywhere from $5,500 to $7,000 per year to include depreciation, taxes and fees, fuel, maintenance, repairs, tax credit (where applicable), financing fees, and insurance.

So now that $20,000 car you thought you were getting a great deal on is costing you around $34,500 or about 170% more than you anticipated.

And truthfully Edmund’s is being stingy with their costs for maintenance and repairs. One year they estimate $300 for maintenance and another they estimate $116 for repairs. Those are total lowball estimates and can vary greatly depending where you go to have work done on the car.

The site also doesn’t take into account:

the emissions that your car creates or

The time and energy it takes to:

fill up the tank every few days

schedule appointments to get your car looked at for scheduled maintenance

take the car in for emergency service that was unforseseen

take time off of work to have the car serviced

Honestly, the list is never ending.

When there is mass transportation in many of the major cities in the country and companies like ZipCar are on the rise, do we still need to anchor ourselves to such a large and inconvenient purchase as an automobile?

The point of this post is to show you the time, energy, and money we throw into something that is perceived as “standard.” And just think, most households actually have TWO of these huge time, energy, and money-suckers.

What would you do with $35,000 extra at your disposal?

Would you start up a small business to supplement your income and maybe make it your top priority?

Would you take your family on a luxury vacation to decompress from the everyday and not so everyday stresses that come with modern life in America?

Would you donate some or all of that money to a charity that you believed in?

Think about your purchases before you buy them. Really think about the ramifications to you, your family, and your environment.

For information on going car free, you can visit Rowdy Kittens and Far Beyond The Stars. They have been eye-opening in the most beautiful way possible.

“Have you ever fallen into a black hole of comparison shopping? You’re looking for a new digital camera, for instance. You head over to Cnet.com and read some reviews of various cameras, watch the video demos, identify the model you want. Then perhaps you employ Google’s shopping search to price out the options and find the best deal. All of the sudden, it’s four hours later. You’ve found the perfect camera, but your purchasing triumph is tainted by a creeping feeling of, well, disgust. Couldn’t that time have been used better?I was thinking recently about what my biggest distractions were – the things keeping me from pushing my creative projects forward. As I scanned through my daily activities, I found that the most insidious distraction was, in fact, things. More specifically, the wanting, hunting, and getting of things – whether they be tangible (a new computer) or intangible (information).

As Annie Leonard says in The Story of Stuff, “Our primary identity has become that of being consumers – not mothers, teachers, or farmers, but of consumers. We shop and shop and shop.” We love our stuff. Yet more than the stuff itself, we love the act of finding it – the search, the anticipation.

But why is consumerism – and particularly, an online hunt for the ideal purchase – so addictive?

It turns out that our consumerist impulse stimulates the same part of the brain that fires when we’re on the trail of a great idea. As we go through the trial and error of executing an idea – What if I tried this? Ah! Now what about this? – we’re using those same wanting, hunting, getting instincts but in a nobler pursuit.

Neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp calls this highly addictive emotional state “seeking.” In a Slate article on seeking, writer Emily Yoffe sums up his research:

“For humans, this desire to search is not just about fulfilling our physical needs. Panksepp says that humans can get just as excited about abstract rewards as tangible ones. He says that when we get thrilled about the world of ideas, about making intellectual connections, about divining meaning, it is the seeking circuits that are firing.

The juice that fuels the seeking system is the neurotransmitter dopamine. The dopamine circuits ‘promote states of eagerness and directed purpose,’ Panksepp writes. It’s a state humans love to be in. So good does it feel that we seek out activities, or substances, that keep this system aroused.”

The consumerist search capitalizes on the same “seeking” part of the brain that fuels the creative rush. Of course, while consumerism can serve as an addictive substitute for the stimulation of creative activity, it offers nowhere near the same reward in the long term.

As creatives, we can often rationalize spending time on shopping by telling ourselves that we’re investing our time, energy, and money in a new tool – an item that’s going to catapult our creativity to the next level. Maybe it’s a new computer, maybe it’s a musical instrument, maybe it’s a studio of one’s own. Once you get that new thing, you think, you’ll have a superior means to complete your work.

It’s a false promise, of course. A means of procrastination baked into our consumerist culture. No external thing can prompt creativity, and there’s no substitute for just getting down to doing the work. In fact, it’s been proven that hardship – being deprived of things – stimulates creativity more than being well-off. A recent Newsweek article on America’s declining creativity reported:

“Highly creative adults frequently grew up with hardship. Hardship by itself doesn’t lead to creativity, but it does force kids to become more flexible—and flexibility helps with creativity.”

When we have less to work with, we have to be more creative. Think about that the next time the consumerist impulse is threatening to encroach on your creativity.”

Thoughts?

Guess what? We are undefinable.

We are multi-dimensional and to try to fragment our souls into pages on a website or try to remember which profile I’m on so I know what to say and what not to say in case I slip and say something less-than-professional on a work networking site is utterly frustrating. I’m a human being and this tradition of being afraid of saying something angry or embarrassing or anything else inherently human makes me sad for the state of humanity. Just because people get upset, frustrated, gassy, or laugh-out-loud delirious does not make them any less capable to do a job and do it well.

I just don’t know how to segment my life like that. I am who I am and it’s difficult to be anything less than that just because someone might judge me and I might not get a job. No job is worth sacrificing my peace of mind.

I still have no idea exactly how I’m supposed to be “marketing” myself. Should I even be marketing myself at all? I’ve got so many pans in the fire that I don’t know what to focus on. I have simplified a lot of the superfluous but I guess making me choose one thing to focus on is like telling someone with ADD to “just get over it.” It’s not going to happen. There are several ways in which I’m talented and I don’t know which of them to take the extra mile.

But reading all of these super-users’ blogs and products they’re making and awesome strides they’re making in their lives just makes me feel flustered. It makes me feel like I’m always running and never getting anywhere. I’m on overload and something’s gotta give.

There’s too much noise. There’s too much stimulation. There’s too much.

Airplanes

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

Yeah
I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
Cause after all the partyin’ and smashin’ and crashin’
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
And when you’re staring at that phone in your lap
And you hoping but them people never call you back
But that’s just how the story unfolds
You get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel
And they sayin’ what would you wish for
If you had one chance
So airplane airplane sorry I’m late
I’m on my way so don’t close that gate
If I don’t make that then I’ll switch my flight
And I’ll be right back at it by the end of the night

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

Somebody take me back to the days
Before this was a job, before I got paid
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank
Yeah back when I was tryin’ to get into the subway
And back when I was rappin’ for the hell of it
But now a days we rappin’ to stay relevant
I’m guessin that if we can make some wishes outta airplanes
Then maybe yo maybe I’ll go back to the days
Before the politics that we call the rap game
And back when ain’t nobody listened to my mix tape
And back before I tried to cover up my slang
But this is for the Cada, what’s up Bobby Ray
So can I get a wish to end the politics
And get back to the music that started this sh-t
So here I stand and then again I say
I’m hopin’ we can make some wishes outta airplanes

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

Now I’m not here to lay the blame
I understand when you hold a flame
Heads will shake heads will turn
And sometimes you just get burned

But I am what I am and
I am what I am afraid of
So what am I afraid of
I need a fearless love
Don’t need to fear the end
If you can’t hold me now
You will never hold me again
I want to live my life
Pursuing all my happiness
I want a fearless love
I won’t settle for anything less

Melissa Etheridge – Fearless Love

I’ve had so much inspiration lately. So much get-off-your-ass-and-live-your-life inspiration. I think I’m very lucky to be a part of this online world where the support of our fellow men and women is paramount.

There are so many things that contribute to this internet high I’m experiencing right now but three of the biggest influences have come from my friend and collaborator Carlee Mallard, her “why not?” outlook always makes me reexamine myself when I think “oh, I don’t know;” a brave life-enthusiast Ashley Ambirge, she empowers me both as a woman and as a person with dreams bigger than I even know what to do with; and Nathania Johnson, she has reinforced my own sense of self and I am glad I found a friend in her.

It’s no coincidence that the three people I’m learning so much from are all women. I was just talking with my friend Vicki about how women are often patronized and talked down to very unnecessarily. It’s globally accepted and it’s absolutely atrocious and unwarranted.

I’m re-learning to use my brain and my energy to make things happen in my own life and I’m so very grateful for everyone who’s along for the ride.

College was an experience that I look back on with fond memories. I had the time of my life with amazing people and learned how to be on my own for the very first time in my life.

Laundry, food, time management – it was all on me.

Unfortunately, I came from a high school where I didn’t have to crack open a book and I aced every class. So getting to college only to find out that I had to actually *gasp* study was a rude awakening. Up until then, I thought I was soooo smart. Turns out my high school was soooo subpar.

Luckily I was able to teach myself study methods that worked for me and then I could spend more time enjoying my environment instead of stressing over exams and assignments.

But here are some things that seem to be unknown or forgotten about college:

1. No one cares if you do your work or go to class. Not the teachers, not your classmates (unless you have project partners who hunt you down), not anyone but yourself. You (or more likely, your parents) are spending tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars for you to sit your ass down and get schooled.

But get this, if you don’t go to class and fail, you still have to pay. WHAT?! Yeah.

2. Time management is crucial. You want to have a course load that challenges you but doesn’t overburden you so that you can have free time to pursue other projects and opportunities. You should limit your extra-curriculars to one or two main activities that you love and that you gain something from.

The rest of the time spent not in class, should be spent LEARNING how to LEARN on your own. Actively teaching yourself is worth more than passively trying to absorb information when you’d rather be sleeping.

3. Play to your strengths. If you are more active in the morning, use those hours to do the bulk of your assignments and studying so that you have more free time to explore other things. If you are a night-owl (like I am), then you come alive at night and can accomplish more in 2 hours in the evening than you could in 6 hours in the daytime.

If you schedule classes when your body is not alert and open to learning, you will absorb nothing. Let your body lead you.

4. You are paying a shitton of money* for an education that you may or may not use. So here is where I may go against the grain when I say this: Do NOT specialize in your coursework.

To go in as an Undecided Freshman IS OK. It means that you are smart enough to know what you don’t know. I was unprepared to choose a major at the age of 17 and now I’m paying for it. I am too specialized.

Studying business or marketing, while it may seem trite and generic, will only help you in the long run because you’ll have a broad knowledge of the topic that will allow you to specialize later on as you see fit rather than as the professors direct you.

5. Practical application of things you’ve learned is crucial. Internships or apprenticeships are important. It takes you out of the classroom and gets you dirty out there in the real world.

The key is to look for a company that you admire, not necessarily just a position. If you fit in well with the company, they can teach you things more quickly in a semester internship than you would normally learn in a year’s worth of highlighting text in books. Also if it works out and they are hiring when you graduate, you may have your first gig.

BONUS: 6. Student loans are the devil. Exhaust every resource you can find via your guidance counselor, parents’ companies sponsorship programs, scholarships, grants, etc., before deciding to take on a loan. There are way too many excellent resources online for this sort of thing to wind up saddled with so much debt for a piece of paper.

There are also way too many free resources online and in your community to learn much of what you can learn in school without actually going to school. You have to decide what’s right for you. You have to know if you have the discipline to teach yourself, whether in college or on your own, because no one is going to do it for you.

*Brianne was lucky enough to have her undergraduate degree paid for by her parents. Her graduate degree is almost $50K which she pays in monthly installments of about $450. This could have been avoided had she done more research before attending.